This week I will start a trek down a road that has not only been a long time coming, but has also been a long time calling. Almost two years ago, I had a tug on my soul... I was receiving a message that I couldn't quite define. Time passed and with it, clarification began shaping this nebulous, swirling thought... I am in need of simplification in my life.
I started thinking about ways to do that. What does that mean, exactly? Where should this simplification begin? Well I realized that I had spread myself pretty thin with regard to everything that I had involved myself in, and not very much of it was feeding my spirit. I also realized that although I have a lot of "relationships" in my life, I really don't have many friends and confidants. Is this where I should start?
I took a look at my calendar. It was on my computer at the time, which synced to my smart phone, realizing somehow this is the place to start, I decided that a "manual" calendar was where I would begin this process. It just seemed to make sense for me. I had to think about every appointment. Use my hands and physically write something down...
This led to my desire to create a handwritten address book (something that I am still in the process of creating). To physically go through my phone and see who of these hundreds of contacts I know, or even care to know is a daunting task. One that must be done, though. Just an aside, I do challenge you to check out your phone, and see who is still in there that you stay in touch with.
But, God was still tugging... He has been steadily replacing non-fulfilling pepole, activities and responsibilities with nurturing people (and people whom He leads me to nurture), a job that I absolutely love and small groups that He has called me to lead. I know that I have grown toward Him tremendously over the past 18 months.
Well, as much as I have been denying the call, I know that He has asked me to give up some things that causes me (and many of us) to waste a lot of time. I am stepping away from facebook. He has helped me to realize, especially over the last 4 months, that a LOT of energy is wasted on the feelings that are evoked. Not to say that everything about facebook is bad... It is just bad for me.
Even with my gran~uns and the access this venue grants me to their lives, I must step back and move into the old fashioned way of communication. I know I will miss it, but I am praying that I can fill that empty, isolating space with God and with tasks that will further my relationship with Him. I will make the time to hand write a letter. I will take the time to write in this blog and I will journal my new found experiences in a non-public place.
I will begin at Lent. It just seems appropriate that I do this. I want this to honor God and I want to Glorify His Name in the process, so as much as He is leading me through this experience, I know that I will be drawn closer to Him.
